Father’s Day

Father’s Day is a day to remember fathers but to a father it is more. I remember my father.  From the time I was very small he was ill.  He had four children to raise and by the time he was in his early thirties he could no longer work to support his family, none the less he never quit trying.  Life was difficult for us and for him.  He spent many months in hospital over the years and often drank to deal with the pain in his life.   He could be impossible but we always knew he cared for us.  Up until the time I was about 11 or 12 he gave us a very good life.  It wasn’t perfect but we had many happy memories.  He gave a lot and expected a lot.  He died when I was 23 and he was 48.  It was a traumatic time for me and my siblings as well as for my mother.  His loss brought back many unhappy memories.  The years, however, have filled me with happy memories.  There were memories of listening to him play the piano, the guitar – many different instruments.  Music came into my heart because of him.  I saw that he didn’t quit no matter how hard the road was.  He always tried to carry on even when it seemed impossible.  He also taught me to look around me when I feel sorry for myself.  Many times he said, “Whenever I am feeling sorry for myself I look around and I see someone who has more problems that me.”  Dad was an imperfect man but he was my father and I realize now that I loved him then and I love him now.   I hope that my children will see me as a good dad and that even though I am an imperfect father I keep on trying to leave them with good memories of their father.  I just want to be a dad who loves his children no matter what and who will always be for them as long as I can.